Ever since I officially told my family and friends that I’ve quit my job to travel (First stop in Bali), I’ve been dealing with questions coming from different people every day. Talking about the unknown was all exciting in the beginning, but eventually, the conversations became exhausting.
- What are you going to do for two months in Bali? (I’m here to build a new living routine.)
- Is it for work or vacation? (Why can’t I have both at the same time?)
- When are you coming back? (I have no idea.)
- How are you going to make money? (I’m figuring it out!)
Let me quickly update you where I’m at in life right now:
I quit my piano teaching job in Shanghai in late 2018. I moved out of the flat I shared with my ex in December and concluded my life in China at the end of January 2019. All I have now is this blog, my music/piano teaching and other marketable skills, savings that’s enough for me to roam around in southeast Asia for a good while, a healthy body, and freedom.
I’m building a new kind of lifestyle while traveling slowly.
I was very excited about my decision for the first two months. Friends who knew me well know that I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. However, the more I discussed my future “plan”, the more anxious I became.
Why was I triggered by having these conversations? Am I just tired of explaining it again and again, or does it mean that I have some unresolved issues within myself that need to be answered and settled?
In this post, I want to help you to feel more at ease when you need to have THAT conversation with people.
If quitting your job to travel was an impulsive decision, this post will help you to realize that NOTHING is an impulse. Everything happens for a reason. Many momentums had led you up to this point (And to this post.)
Are you trying to convince people about your decision?
Everyone has different priorities in life. Sometimes, people raise questions out of pure curiosity because your decision resonates with a part of them. But people also raise concerns from a place of lack or limitation. (You can easily tell the differences from their facial expressions.)
Reflectively, if an uncomfortable feeling rises within us during the conversation, we need to ask ourselves WHY are we feeling this way before we try to convince the others.
We can’t change other people’s reality. We can only change our own reality. Step away from the subject if you are not in a place of calmness during the conversation.
What wouldn’t work for the others doesn’t mean it won’t work for you (and vice versa.)
When someone thinks you need a lot of money to travel, that’s how they will travel. When they believe that they need a full-time job to save up for retirement and to make ends meet, that’s how they will live there life. It’s the law of attraction. You create what you believe.
People judge and comment base on personal experiences. f we need to satisfy everyone with our decisions, it will be like a massive board meeting. Find your tribe, speak with people who
Detach yourself from people’s reactions and responses. When they see that you’re already leading a better life with your decision, they will get on board.
People are going to have very different reactions depending on their relationships with you.
When someone else desperately NEEDS you to convince them about your decision, evaluate whether they’re coming from a place of love or neediness. Those who truly love you will hold that space for you, even if you seem to have no idea what you are doing. They will trust that you’re doing what’s the best for you, and they will put your well being above all things. Stay on your course, especially when you are having a conversation with people who you’re very close with (parents/partners.)
Help them to understand WHY this is the best decision for YOU from a place of love: Self-love.
They might not come around right away. They might hang up the phone on you (my mother) or not talk to you for 2 months (my mother). However, as long as you’re communicating with love, trust that in time they will understand you.
And for those who attack you simply because your ideology isn’t aligning with theirs, let them be. They will either come on board at one point or fade themselves out from your life. I know it’s easier to say than done, especially if you had an intimate relationship with that person. Yet, as I mentioned before: if they truly love you and want the best for you, they will respect your decision instead of trying to stop you or downplay you.
How do you feel when people ask you about your plans after you quit your job?
We need to know that there’s a difference between telling your family and friends you’ve quit your job to travel (what’s happening now) and telling them your future plans (what’s NOT happening now.)
There are literally more than a million possibilities to how the future can unfold, so whatever you’re feeling right now does not need to be your eternal truth.
If I’ve learned anything in life, that is plans can change, and the only thing that doesn’t change is changing itself. Always be honest with yourself because YOU are the person who is living YOUR life, and that’s the only way you can achieve your wildest dream.
It’s okay NOT to know what you’ll be doing all the time.
This is definitely my biggest trigger because I am pretty restless. My mind is always running, and I’m quite goal-oriented (although I am not necessarily a hard worker.) For me, this is the trickiest part because I realized that deep down I don’t want to seem like I don’t have my shit together, especially to the people I care about.
It’s natural for us humans to seek validation and approval, but the more we are afraid to take a leap of faith, the further away we are from our desire. I’m still learning to trust the unknown and follow its guidance.
Detach yourself from the outcome and HOW your desire will be manifested. Stay flexible, follow your bliss, and make necessary adjustments whenever it’s needed. The Universe always has your back.